Tests and changes

So, here I sit on the couch for the start of the second week in a row. I'm still under Dr orders not to do much and a 10 pound weight limit really slows me down. By they way, he (the Doc) called me directly to check on me 1 week post op. I had my 'lap' (exploratory surgery) done last week and I don't think I've ever had anything kick my butt the way this has. I feel like the only time Rodney sees me is when I'm making permanent butt prints on the couch. About the only saving grace is that while he's at work I can get laundry done and in a very slow manner I manage to get the floor swept and mopped. Thank God the rest of the house pretty much stays clean, thanks to the help of the kids. I don't know that we have ever been attacked so much as the way that I feel that we have here lately. We aren't dispairing or letting it get us down. We are totally taking it in stride. We lost Rodney last night for about 20 minutes and then he came in all sweaty and nasty. He had gone on a run. It seems that he is not wanting to go through his foot surgery and now he's wondering if maybe he doesn't just need to lose some weight and if that will make a difference in what is going on with him. So, now he's wanting to try running every night and losing some weight and eating differently. I have to say, he may be onto something. We BOTH enjoy eating, we can't help it and when the food tastes so good, what do you do.

So, if he winds up NOT having his foot surgery, then he wants me to go ahead and have my partial hysterectomy, immediately. Not something I am looking forward too, but tough, it needs to happen. I've gone back and forth thinking about this for quite a while and I always swore that I wouldn't do it and that is just what happens when I swear, I wind up doing what I swore I wouldn't do anyway.

I think I'm just a little un nerved because so much has seemed to happen in this small little family in such a short period of time. Rachel took a nose-dive, mentally, Garett was and is still having problems with his joints and his eye still, Rodney and his foot which is directly linked to his job and then I seem to be falling apart, as a woman. The only one of us that is ok is Anthony and then that makes me nervous, because I'm afraid he will be directly attacked. I know all things happen for a reason and I've beleived this all of my life, but it still makes a person not comfortable.

I just got back from Garett's appointment with the Retina Specialist today and I just can't help but be irritated. No, not at the Dr. He was wonderful and just as baffled as we are by what is going on with this kid. What I am irritated about is just the rough road he has had to go down. Some of it by his doing and some my own. Part of me just wants to scream & shout, ENOUGH ALREADY!!! But a fat lot of good that would do. Here's what's going on the best we can tell. In 2006 we discovered that he was having major eye problems. He was always seeming to rub at his eyes and wouldn't stop and we couldn't see anything in them. Then we noticed that he was doing things like shooting and aiming for long distance things with his left eye and he's right handed. So, we took him in for a routine eye exam, since his last one was questionable, we thought for sure he was going to need glasses this time. Not only did he need glasses, but he also needed to go see a retina specialist because they found his retina tearing away. They did surgery, got rid of the floaters and repaired his eye. No big deal, we just made sure that nothing happened to him, trauma wise. Fast forward to our move to Florida. Garett comes home from school one day saying that his floaters are back and they have a LOT of company. So we go through the song and dance of regular Dr appt to get a referal to an ophthamologist who in turns refers us to ANOTHER retina specialist. Who in turn tells us that his retina is still good, but there is some major inflammation there and needs to be watched for a while. So we have 2 sets of eye drops that must be put in his eye (right only) 4 times a day to get the swelling down and allow his eyesight to return to normal. None of this is the problem, I am just rolling with the punches.

What is the problem is when we get in the car and head back to town and Garett looks at me and asks if there is a college in Cleburne. (The town we used to live in before coming back into the military) I tell him there is a Jr College and ask if he's thinging about going back there after high school. He says yes and that he also thinks that the military will be out of the question. Here is the part where I just totally get lit up. Garett thinks there is too much going on with his body and it's not cooperating and he needs to find an alternate plan for his future. The part where I am lit up is that I see my baby, my child's special dream of going into the military and being an active part of our armed forces, something that he has wanted to do for most ALL of his life, go down the proverbial toilet!!!!!!! Can you feel my pain? Part of me wants to scream and shout (the unruley side of me) and the other part of me wants to squeeze him till his head pops off because he's so smart and mature (obviously more than I am right now) to recognize what is in front of him and push forward and through it. Here's a REAL kick in the pants. When I ask him what he wants to do, he replies that he thought about being a youth leader or preacher somewhere. (See my point on what I wanted to do to him!!!) Yes, I did manage to keep it together because I would have just mortified him if I would have acted any differently or even CONSIDERED shedding a tear. I obviously have one hell of a kid!!!

Poor Garett had always been labeled the trouble child or the problem child and for all of this to come out of him in a single 10 minute conversation, well, I'm just sitting here shaking my head. He is something special all right!!!!! So right now, we wait...and wait. The next 6 weeks will not be his favorite, because he hates having things dropped into his eyes, but that's the way it goes. On another note with him, we are watching him for Marphan Syndrome. He seems to be exhibiting most of the symptoms of it. We have to get the eye thing taken care of and continue watching his knee because we are still having issues with it and then we will have to get him in to take a look at his heart and the aeorta (sp). I'm hoping this is the worse, but I'm also a realist.

The J O B Express

So, I applied for another job today. I normally don't get on here and post every single time I do that, but this one was different. Rodney found it on Craigslist (because you know that we are junkies now) We had been waiting for something official to come out regarding the new 'school house' that they were building on NAS Pensacola and thought maybe I could hopefully get something there. This had something to do with it, but it was nothing like any other job application I had ever filled out or questionaire I had answered before. I'm not going to put the companies name, because hopefully I will get it and if they do what I think they will do regarding security, they will find this. So, what was strange about the whole thing is that they didn't ask typical problem solving questions. It was almost like they wanted me to think outside the box. So, I did. It was very nice to not feel like I had to 'fit' into a description or give the 'proper' answer. I kinda let my mind take off into left field for a change, which I so often do and gave answers off the seat of my smart aleky pants!!!! It was AWESOME!!!! Don't get me wrong I still totally allow God and my raising to guide me, however it was almost like relaxing your mind and just letting go for a moment and then it just 'came' to me. I can't explain it. I know I didn't feel like I was forcing control and forcing my mind to cooperate and crap out an answer like I used to feel in school all the time. It was very different and very much more relaxed. It would be nice if I got it, but hey, you know me, if not then something else is in store for me and I'll be waiting to know what it is!!!!!

So much has happened in such little time.

Well, here we are. In sunny, pretty, beachy, freezing, FREAKING COLD Florida!!! I just could not believe that it was as cold here as it was. I felt like I had NOT left Abilene and somehow the beach had just gotten to me. I think the entire family was totally pissed. It is just now mid February and for the first time since New Year's Eve it was warm enough to go out without a jacket. On a good note, we are here, moved in and settled for the most part. Much against someone's wishes, all children are enrolled in school and doing well. The kid's needs are taken care of. Dr's have been found, first appointments made and a plan in order. Rodney is in the squadron, doing his job and is now DNIF. Yes, I said DNIF. He has to have foot surgery, something that we have been trying to avoid, hoping that his foot would heal on it's own, to no avail. So, we were referred to an awesome pediatrist over at NAS Pensacola and he said he will do Rodney's surgery on April 8th. This will move his recovery anywhere from a year to two years down to 8 to 10 weeks. He's just going to go in and cut the planter facia (a release). The only caveat to this is that Rodney will not be able to so much as put his big foot down while on crutches or he can severely screw up his healing process. I don't know which will be worse, not being able to do anything or having to watch the frustration and know that it will be taken out on me. Oh well, I will have to pray for strength and patience and then when that does not work, I will drug him up. You laugh and I'm dead serious!!!! We've been through this once before during our marriage and it was within the first year, he had major knee surgery. He was so mean to me and treated me so badly that I slept in the other room and cried myself to sleep many nights. I would like to think that I have matured over the past few years and have a few creative ideas in mind to assert myself if he tries to be a handful. I don't want to share them, because I don't want any of you to be tried as an accompliss so let's just say that I don't put up with any crap anymore.

Now, we just wait for a spring warm up and continue with taking care of the family and getting out and meeting some of the other spouses at both the base and our squadron. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and I can start working on the yard. That will be fun and a very nice way of getting a workout.

Much love to all and more later.